The Loneliness

The Loneliness of Opposition
by Rick Warren

At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength …. 2 Timothy 4:16-17 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

Opposition causes loneliness. When you’re attacked, when you’re ridiculed, when you’re criticized, you feel isolated and lonely.

One minute you’re a hero, the next, you’re the zero! That can be lonely. You might be lonely when you go through a painful experience that no one else seems to understand. Or, you might be lonely when you’re going through grief while every one else seems to be having fun. You might be lonely when you’re misunderstood, or embarrassed, or criticized.

How do you overcome this kind of loneliness?

Paralyzed or Positive?

Loneliness tends to paralyze, so think of a creative way to turn the situation into something positive. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Make the best of a bad situation.

Paul was lonely when he was in prison. He says, “No one came to my support, but everyone deserted me” (2 Timothy 4:16 NIV). Now that’s lonely!

But think about this: Paul was a people person; he probably would’ve preferred traveling the Mediterranean region, preaching Christ and starting churches. But he was stuck in prison and lonely, and as a result, we have many of his letters that now appear in the New Testament. It might be that putting Paul in jail was the only way to get him to sit still long enough to write those New Testament letters.

Resist Resentment

If you get bitter and stew about those who oppose you, you’ll only get lonelier. It builds walls around your life that keep people away from you. And building walls puts you in danger of becoming cynical or resentful, and that often pushes other people away from you.

If you’re lonely right now, what does God have to say to you?

I think God could say, “I understand how you feel!” The Bible says Jesus was tempted just like us, yet he did not sin. Jesus understood every human emotion, and there were times when he was lonely and abandoned. For instance, knowing the next day he’d be crucified, Jesus took three of his best friends – Peter, James, and John – with him to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane. He asked them to pray with him, but they fell asleep, and Jesus felt alone.

If you’re lonely right now, then share your loneliness with Jesus. He knows what you’re going through and he understands.

The Loneliness of Rejection
by Rick Warren

But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. 2 Timothy 4:17 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

Loneliness often comes from the feeling that you’ve been betrayed, deserted, or abandoned. Paul felt deserted when he first went on trial in Rome. He wrote, “At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them” (2 Timothy 4:16 NIV).

Here’s one of the greatest Christians in history, but no one came to his support! He says, “But everyone deserted me.” He’s on trial for his life; no one comes to speak for his defense.

Yet, Paul didn’t say, “I’ve spent thirty years in the ministry and this is what I get?” No, instead he said, “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it” (2 Timothy 4:17 NIV).

Rejection is often the most devastating form of hurt. The Bible teaches that we have emotional needs and one of our greatest emotional needs is to be accepted.

Loneliness is so painful that people will try anything to relieve it. They take drugs, they get drunk. They go through long lists of short-lived dating relationships. They coop themselves up in their homes with the TV as their only friend.

So where is God when you’re lonely?

He’s right there with you – No matter where you go, God’s presence is with you. Sitting in prison, Paul wrote, “The Lord stood at my side and gave me strength.”

God says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV).

The Loneliness of Separation
by Rick Warren

Only Luke is with me. 2 Timothy 4:11 (NIV)

*** *** *** ***

Separation causes loneliness. In prison, awaiting execution, Paul feels isolated from those he loves. He asks his protégé Timothy to visit, “Do your best to come to me quickly” (2 Timothy 4:9, NIV).

Paul later mentions some of his friends, such as Priscilla, Aquila, and the household of Onesiphorus (2 Timothy 4:19). They are among Paul’s his closest friends and he misses them.

He is feeling the loneliness of separation. Paul never went anywhere alone; he always had at least one traveling companion. Yet, here at the end of his life, he’s in prison in a foreign country and he can’t just pick up the phone and reach out and touch somebody.

In the United Sates, twenty-five percent of the population moves in any given year. Many of us have lost our roots, or never had any to begin with, and that can cause loneliness. We can experience the loneliness of separation because of military service, or a career, or an illness.

What can you do about your loneliness from separation?

Focus on the needs of others – Get your eyes off yourself and focus outward. Look at how you can serve other people. Paul focused on telling more people about Jesus: “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it” (2 Timothy 4:17 NIV).

Focus on your purpose – Even when Paul was isolated in a prison, he wanted other people to know about Jesus. He wanted everybody to know about God’s love. He stopped looking at himself and he looked at how he could still tell others about the good news.

When you’re lonely – Stop building walls and start building bridges! Instead of saying, “I’m so lonely,” say, “Father, help me be a friend to people who need a friend. Help me to help lonely people.” That is the antidote for loneliness.

Fear & Grace
by Rick Warren

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

God is watching over you.

When King David writes, “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me,” he’s not saying, “Surely only good things will happen to me!”

The fact is bad things happen to good people. What David is teaching us is that God can take bad, evil, and difficult situations and bring something good out of them.

It’s one of God’s great promises to us: we can know that all things are working for our good “if we love God and are fitting into his plans” (Romans 8:28 LB). If you’re a believer, the Bible says all things are working together for good – not that all things are good, but that they work together for good. There’s no difficulty, dilemma, defeat, or disaster in life that God can’t ultimately turn toward good.

When you understand God’s grace and mercy, there’s no need to fear the future. God isn’t trying to get even with you. Jesus shouldered the penalty for everything you’ve ever done wrong or will do wrong. He paid for it on the cross. So when a bad thing happens, you don’t have to think, “God’s getting even with me.” That’s how God’s grace and mercy work.

Mercy, like goodness, follows us in life. Picture a parent following a little child around picking up after them; God is constantly picking up our messes.

Think about this:

· Christians go to the future, not with a question mark, but with an exclamation point. God will be with you no matter what happens. He will help you out.

· God’s goodness provides and protects;God’s mercy pardons and forgives. God’s goodness will supply; God’s mercy will sooth. God’s goodness will help; God’s mercy will heal.

· Goodness is the fact that God gives us good things in life that we don’t deserve.Mercy means God holds back the condemnation we deserve.

Resisting Discouragement
by Rick Warren

So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Galatians 6:9 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

There are many things that work to keep us from completing our life-missions. Over the years, I’ve debated whether the worst enemy is procrastination or discouragement. If Satan can’t get us to put off our life missions, then he’ll try to get us to quit altogether.

The apostle Paul teaches that we need to resist discouragement: “So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up …” (Galatians 6:9 NLT).

Do you ever get tired of doing what’s right? I think we all do. Sometimes it seems easier to do the wrong thing than the right thing.

When we’re discouraged, we become ineffective. When we’re discouraged, we work against our own faith.

When I’m discouraged, I’m saying, “It can’t be done.” That’s the exact opposite of saying, “I know God can do it because he said ….”

Ask yourself these questions:

· How do I handle failure?

· When things don’t go my way, do I get grumpy?

· When things don’t go my way, do I get frustrated?

· When things don’t go my way, do I start complaining?

· Do I finish what I start?

· How would I rate on persistence?

If you’re discouraged, don’t give up without a fight. Nothing worthwhile ever happens without endurance and energy.

When an artist starts to create a sculpture, he has to keep chipping away. He doesn’t hit the chisel with the hammer once, and suddenly all the excess stone falls away revealing a beautiful masterpiece. He keeps hitting it and hitting it, chipping away at the stone.

And that’s true of life, too: Nothing really worthwhile ever comes easy in life. You keep hitting it and going after it, and little-by-little your life becomes a masterpiece of God’s grace.

The fact is, great people are really just ordinary people with an extraordinary amount of determination. Great people don’t know how to quit.

Keeper Of My Dreams

When you're not here to share my days and nights
My life is so incomplete
For you are my heart, my soul
The ‘oneness’ I had known to seek

Without you I merely exist from day to day
With you I know that I will find
All that I have been searching for
My completeness, my eternal peace of mind

You are the keeper of my dreams
The man who holds my heart in his hands
The one I want to spend my life with
The one with whom I will always stand

Stand beside through thick and thin
Through all that life will throw our way
Knowing that this special love we share
Will guide us, each and every day

This journey was started long ago
Before this time and place
The journey of completeness
As two hearts and souls embrace

Forever is what I want with you
For the search is at an end
Our hearts have found each other
As lovers, as soul-mates, as friends.

Perfect Love Drives Out Fear

There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:18-19 HCSB)

^{*** *** *** ***}

There you are, driving to the grocery store. You’re under the speed limit and following all the traffic laws, but then you notice a police car in your rearview mirror.

The policeman isn't flashing his lights; he’s not pursuing you; in a sense he's just like any other driver who might be following behind you down the road.

But he’s not just any driver. He’s a police officer, and so you tense up. You start thinking: Am I going too fast? Am I wearing my seatbelt? Did I signal properly when I changed lanes?

And then there’s the fear you’ll make a mistake right in front of the policeman. Now, the reality is that you’ve done nothing wrong, but the fear is there because no one is a perfect driver. He could pull you over for a variety of minor violations.

When fear enters any situation, we become defensive and less trusting. We focus on fairness and on protecting our rights. Consider what happens when someone brings fear into your environment – perhaps a fellow employee, perhaps a boss, maybe a family member or a friend. Their fear shows up as criticism, defensiveness, or manipulation, and it soon infects nearly everyone, pushing them toward self-protection – toward reactive decisions instead of thoughtful responses.

On the other hand, the environment also can change when someone shows up with an outpouring of God’s love. Love shows up as encouragement, as positive interactions. Because criticism is constructive, it is easier to receive. You know you are loved, so you know your mistakes and imperfections will not lead to your being rejected or labeled a loser. You’re less concerned about fairness because you know this loving person is looking out for your best interests, and as the environment becomes drenched in love, you begin to understand that everyone is looking out for your best interests.

The more you trust, the less you fear, and eventually this pure love – you might say perfect love – drives out your fears. This is the essence of the apostle Paul’s words: “There is no fear in love ….” (1 John 4:18 HCSB)

We are forgiven. We are loved by God, and we can rest in that truth. We can allow that truth to spread from our hearts to our hands, in service. Knowing that God is always loving us gives us the trust, the confidence, the faith to believe that God is working all things out for the good of those who love him and who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) We can approach God’s throne of grace boldly. (Hebrews 4:16)

Here is what I believe Paul is teaching: If you walk in fear, you’re trying to control life, rather than trusting in God’s love and letting him control you. Look through your fear and focus on God instead.

The thing is, if you have fear, you may be the person who brings fear into the room. Because you are less trusting, because you fear doing wrong, you may spark the fire of fear. If you fear others will take advantage, you will work to gain your own advantage.

Paul says, “The one who fears has not reached perfection in love.” But perfection in love doesn’t start with us – we can’t work ourselves up to perfect love. Perfect love starts with God: “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19 HCSB) As we seek to be spiritually mature, it is God’s love that drives the fear from us. Then it is his love within us – when we trust his love for us – that moves us to love others.

What does this mean?

· Give God your fears – When you fear, tell God about your them. In other words, don’t nurse your fears or use them to justify fear-driven actions. Instead, go to God with your fears. Ask him to show you the root of your fears, and then ask him to work within you to remove the whole fear-tree – roots and all. ("I believe; help my unbelief.")

· Let God develop perfect love in you – Accept and respond to God’s perfect love for you. How would your life change if you were no longer controlled or motivated by your fears? Ask God to fill you with his love and to love other through you. ("I can’t; God can.")

· Pray for those who fear – When you see someone showing their fear through defensiveness, control, manipulation, gossip, or other such behaviors, pray for them. Pray they will allow God to drive away their fears, that they will receive and accept the perfect love of God, and, with that love within them, that they will begin to act in faith and not fear.

· Pray for our police officers – Lest anyone misunderstand my illustration about a policeman in the rearview mirror, these men and woman put their lives on the line constantly in order to protect and serve us. They are ministers of God, in that they maintain the peace. Pray for them and their protection, that they will be drenched with the perfect love of God.

We Weren’t Made To Live Alone

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him.” (Genesis 2:18 HCSB)

*** *** *** ***

Today’s devotional is from Pastor Rick Warren.

If I were to ask you what you considered to be the most common emotional hurt in people, what would you say: Depression? Anxiety? Guilt?

How about loneliness?

After all the pastoral conversations I’ve had over the last 30 years, I’m certain loneliness is not only common to us all; it’s epidemic. I first noticed this when people who were married would come to me for pastoral care, saying they were lonely – extremely lonely.

It may surprise you that it is not all that uncommon for a husband and wife to not really talk to each other. Yet loneliness emerges in a lot of different situations. It may arise from the death of a loved one or the death – by divorce – of your marriage.

Maybe you feel abandoned by someone you relied on or perhaps your work keeps you on the road, forcing you to spend lonely nights in a motel. Or maybe it’s because you’ve just moved to a new neighborhood, and you don’t know a soul.

The evidence of loneliness in our modern world is in the dial-in chat lines, where people pay by the minute to talk to a stranger. Ironically, the Internet connects millions of people around the world, and yet the end result is anonymity and isolation.

Have you eve wondered why we all have the capacity to feel lonely?

It’s because God made us to need each other. In other words, we don’t like to live alone because we weren’t made to live alone. The Bible teaches that, even when Adam was living in paradise – a perfect setting with no problems, no stress, no sin, and no one creating heartaches for others – God could see that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. (Genesis 2:18)

What does this mean?

There are several biblical ways to reduce the pain of loneliness:

· God gives you a plan – You may feel nobody knows the depth of your loneliness and think, “If I were to drop off the face of the earth, nobody would miss me.” Yet we know from the Bible that God created you, that he knows you by name, and that he put you on this earth for a purpose. When you focus on God’s plan for your life, you’ll find yourself feeling less lonely.

· God gives you others to serve – I’m convinced that part of God’s plan for overcoming loneliness is to get the focus off ourselves and, instead, to pour ourselves into other people’s lives by serving them and giving them your talents and gifts. I’d encourage you to take the initiative and get involved with a small group of people who share similar interests. Within that group, you’re likely to make real friendships.

God gives you his presence – We were made to have an intimate, personal and close relationship with God. No person, experience, drug, success, possession – not even fortune or fame – will fill that aching hole in your heart, a place God created for himself. God is everywhere; there’s no place in the universe where God is not. Knowing that can relieve your loneliness. Regardless of the source of your loneliness, God is right there with you. You’re never truly alone – and when you feel lonely, you can call on him to help conquer your loneliness.

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

But Sarai, Abram's wife, had no children. So Sarai took her servant, an Egyptian woman named Hagar, and gave her to Abram so she could bear his children. “The LORD has kept me from having any children,” Sarai said to Abram. “Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed. (Genesis 16:1-2 NLT)

*** *** *** ***

And so Sarai took it upon herself to solve God’s problem. After all, God told Sarai’s husband, Abram, that he’d have a huge family, more descendants than there are stars in the sky. (Genesis 15)

Sarai waited and waited for God to provide their first descendant, but the baby didn’t come. She waited week after week, hopeful that God would answer her prayers, that God would make good on his promise. Every day, the tension and the frustration mounted. As the musician, Tom Petty, sings: “The waiting is the hardest part.”

Like me – perhaps like you – Sarai began to wonder if God would ever answer her prayers. She wondered if God had forgotten about her, as if God’s promise had been mis-filed or improperly prioritized in the perceived bureaucracy of heaven. Perhaps – like you, like me – Sarai questioned whether God really knew what he was doing.

It appears Sarai’s thoughts walked as far as her faith would carry her, and then she stood looking at the mountains of her fear. Did God understand how important this was to her? How could God deny her the greatest desire of her heart? Was God even on her side?

Even as Sarai acknowledged God’s ability to fulfill the promise – “The LORD has kept me from having any children …” – yet she denied God’s sovereignty to decide when the promise would be fulfilled.

And so Sarai took it upon herself to fulfill the promise, no longer trusting God to do his job. The waiting is the hardest part, and Sarai was tired of the wait.

Sitting in a humid tent, she hears the support poles creak; she hears, through the open flaps, a camel snort; and she hears … was that a voice, like the hiss of a serpent, saying, "Really? Did God really say your husband would be the father of a family so vast it would surpass the number of stars in the sky?" (Consider Genesis 3.)

Sarai said, “God can, but he won’t." Or maybe she said, "God can’t figure this out.” Looking through the tent’s door, she saw her servant Hagar, and in that moment she saw the solution, though she didn’t see the Pandora’s Box she would soon open. Perhaps she even though, "Of course! This is probably the answer God meant for me to see all along."

Her faith was collapsing, but so was Abram’s, for when Sarai suggested the solution was through Hagar, Abram agreed.

So what does this mean?

• Waiting for God is hard – God is not surprised when we’re honest about our frustrations and fears. Often God requires us to wait because he’s trying to show us the end of our faith, stretching our faith, not condemning us for the lack of it. In these moments, seek God and not the answer.

• Whose side are you on? – Sarai believed her assumptions more than God’s promise. She wonders why God was no longer on her side – "Why is the LORD keeping this from me?" – instead of confessing that she was no longer on God’s side. Ask God to help you identify the places in your life where you’re saying, "The LORD is keeping this from me!" What will you do with what he reveals to you?

• God opens and closes doors – Even as Sarai took matters into her own hands, she acknowledged God had the power to provide more heirs than there were stars in the sky. If we could ask Sarai, "Can God?" she probably would answer yes. If we then asked Sarai, "Will God?" her honest answer would appear to have been no. When faced with a delayed answer, do you break with God? What does manipulating an answer to your prayer say about your belief in the character of God? What does "giving up on God" say about the depth of your faith?

Restoring your faith – Like mastery-based education, God’s interest is that you master the lessons of faith. He wants you to succeed in your lessons, able to walk further in faith each day. So failure is not defeat; he will continue to teach you – and stretch you – until walking by faith and not by sight is as natural as breathing. Tell God, "I believe; help my unbelief!”

Making Allowance For Each Other’s Faults

“Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” (Ephesians 4:2b NLT)

The more we understand, the more patient we become.

When we see the hurt beneath the anger, or the reason behind the behavior, we’re more likely to “make allowance for each other’s faults.”

The ability to understand is a sign of patience. (Proverbs 14:29) The Bible teaches, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV) God’s wisdom teaches us that love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4), and that impatience is not love.

When facing a challenge to our patience, it helps to remember God is not asking us to give more patience to others than the patience he gives to us. The apostle Paul uses his own life as an example of this, saying God showed him mercy, despite his many sins, so that “Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience.” (1Timothy1:16 NIV)

We need patience with one another because God created each of us with different shapes, assigning each of us a different mission in life. We all have different backgrounds, and we’re each at a different place in our journey with Jesus. Practicing patience keeps our view on the things above, allowing us to see how God works even in the most difficult of circumstances. It is in patience we often learn that diversity is a strength, instead of a weakness.

The apostle Paul wrote, “Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.” (Romans 14:1 MSG)

What does this mean?

· Work at being consistently patient – Anybody can be patient when it’s convenient, but it’s much harder to remain patient when the day is slipping away or when you’re faced with the same mistake for the third time in one week. Patience often comes at significant cost; it requires you set aside your agenda and yield your rights in order to “welcome each other with open arms.”

· Learn to listen – Listening means more than just hearing someone talk; it means carefully considering what the other person is saying and actively trying to understand his or her point of view. The Bible says, “Listen before you answer. If you don’t, you are being stupid and insulting.” (Proverbs 18:13 TEV) That’s pretty clear! It means we shouldn’t evaluate what someone has done or said until we’ve heard the full story. God gave us two ears and one mouth, perhaps to tell us we should listen twice as much as we talk. Ha!

· Ask yourself these questions:

§ What makes me impatient?

§ What does my impatience say about my priorities?

§ How can I better understand the people who bring out my impatience?

§ Have I taken time to listen to their full stories?

§ In what ways do people have to be patient with me?

§ Do I give the same amount of grace to others as I expect them to give me?

“Love is patient.” (1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV) – that means love puts up with a lot for a long time. The next time your patience reaches its limit, remember how patient and understanding Jesus is with you.

Rose...you are my Sunlight

A Rose That Once Stood Alone
A solitary rose grew in the darkest corner of the garden
Surrounded by many others
Yet remained alone

Time passed and trials came and went
One dealt a severe blow
And the rose began to wilt and wither

Forgotten...

Then... as if by a miracle...

There came a soft and gentle breeze
Followed by a ray of light
As all the other roses fell into darkness
The solitary rose began to shine

Shining with a special light...
And watered by a gentle cascade...
A cascade of love
A cascade of selfless affection

"I do... not now but forever..."
Said the rose to the sunlight
And there they remain
A rose in full bloom
With her sunshine smiling down on her...

You are my sunshine, my life, my very soul
And I your rose blooming in the light of your love.